The Elusive Place.  

There exists a place far removed from time and space.  A realm that acts as my only respite from the worries of the world.  It is the only place in which I feel normal.  If I could stay within its peaceful embrace forever, I would pay any price.  But… without a set location or consistent method of discovery to speak, finding it is often more difficult than spotting a single loose hair on the back of your own head.  A challenge of the utmost, hardest difficulty and yet I pursue it doggedly, often to my own detriment.  

Sometimes, I find it by accident.  Those select days when I can are the best.  A weightlessness slowly envelops me as the whispers of fear and doubt melt away, drowned out by the sound of music.  Nothing else matters in these moments as I float within the waves of comfort at a rhythm consistent with my current desires, peacefulness holding me close like a discerning lover.  This place is mine and mine alone.  Pressed, I’d likely state my solitude to be by choice, a consequence of my own doing.  The authenticity of that notion is unclear even to me.  

Most days though, I might as well be in a separate galaxy from that elusive place that I desire most.  The highest of highs only further help to illustrate just how cavernous the lows.  Worst of which arrive swiftly and without warning, shattering the peace as I am only just finally settling into its comforting embrace.  A snap back to reality like the sudden, accidental drop backward out of a precariously, leant chair.  The aftermath of which never fails to rattle one’s bones.  Hyperbolic perhaps, but truth can often sound more like fiction than fact.  My reality though is simple.  No matter how long I search and even if I find my elusive place, it never lasts.  Nothing lasts forever.  My only comfort lies within the knowledge that the final sunset brings; as its magnificents eventually slowly fades, so too will all of the things that haunt me.